‘Can you do any impressions?’ my sister asked me on one of our facetime calls as she herself was celebrating her birthday on Wednesday. ‘I can do a few’ I meekly reply ‘but they aren’t very good, or you might not know them since you’re way younger than me’. I could anticipate her persistence in hearing at least an attempt so I stumbled through a Donald Duck that sounded as if he was constipated, and an Irish Donald Trump. She was less than impressed, even more so when I told her I wanted to get into voice acting.
However I made an attempt and got a laugh, whether it was at me or with me I didn’t care, at least I got a reaction. It would have been worse I reasoned to have just had an awkward silence or to have never attempted and have my sister think I’m no fun to be around.
That kind of leads into what I actually want for my birthday since that is the title I’ve chosen for this, but really I also wanted to write down that memory because I didn’t want to forget it. Small moments like that are easily forgotten if you allow them to be, and sure larger and more grand experiences stick around usually for life but I think even the small moments can be worth the effort. Particularly to salvage then in case you run into some more troubling times, that or to combat when you’re facing too much repetition or routine which can be a drag. Which is also what I’ve been facing.
Before I get into what I actually want then for my birthday I should 1) stop wasting your time and get to the point (something I’m guilty of doing) and 2) open up quickly about that repetition and routine. So yes, I am getting tired of doing the same thing that I’ve been doing for the past few weeks. Wake up, go to work, have a nice lunch, come home, work out, scour the net, write and sleep. I mean it’s not bad, and I’m aware that most people can’t even have that, but I’m wanting a bit more excitement and unpredictability so that is one thing I want for my birthday.
I also want to stop writing or talking about Covid-19 or 2020/21. It’s coming to an end, and while it has stopped me from doing more as I had planned after visiting Japan two years ago, again it’s coming to an end so I refuse to write anything else about it. That’s your lot.
Another thing I want for my birthday is to stop making excuses and to make an honest attempt at all the things I have written down on list after list after list. I highly doubt that I’ll make it through everything considering the volume I have that have now jammed one of my drawers shut, but I’ll give it a go seeing as I’m still here. I will also stop telling you that I’m going to attempt things, so treat this as your last hearing of that as well.
The lists contain a mixture of extreme sports, experiences, ideas and adventures, but also some personal stuff I’d like to get sorted out. For one thing I do want after my birthday to be creating videos, media, writing and art for the sake of it and not for merit. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I’ve deleted posts and ideas when they haven’t ‘performed well’, that’s obvious if you follow me, but that means it was a waste of time and I don’t think I should be allowing that. Plus I liked some of it, and if I delete something or throw it away it should only ever be because I didn’t like it myself. Hence why one of my blog posts that sounded a bit ‘preachy’ to me has now gone missing. Trust me, it sounded as if I was one of those church ministers that concludes his sermon by yelling or doing cartwheels (besides they’re more talented at that than me).
Some of my ideas for what I’ll be posting on TikTok mainly have some work to do before I put it out but so far it looks like I’ll be focusing heavily on comedy, experiences, honest reviews and opinions, and lots of acting in between that. I don’t want to give too much away as TikTok has steadily become my go to for spare enjoyment and ideas from watching its talented community. I’m also hoping to collaborate with some of my personal favourite creators if they’d be happy to. I believe in the adage that ‘two minds are better than one’ at times, and refuse to believe in the other that ‘too many cooks spoil the broth’ How can you if you are all on the same page or at least accepting of ideas?
I’d love to attempt someone else’s ideas alongside my own. For example my mother casually said since I want to get into acting that a way for me to become more comfortable with exposing myself to a crowd could be to do some modelling. I of course clarified that the exposing was of my character and not anything else, although I’m not opposed to it for art. It would also be a big step for me as to be honest with you I’ve never been entirely comfortable with how I look. It’s much better than what it used to be seeing as I’m even considering modelling but I do nit-pick at my appearance. The worry I also had with it would be how you’d see me if I began to model and act, particularly men as they’d believe I thought I was hot shit or above anyone. To clarify, I do not nor have I ever thought I was exceedingly attractive. I just think I’m ok, and I believe I can work with that possibly as a model.
In terms of physical things I want for my birthday that ranges from me buying a tattoo, colourful shirts, gig tickets, camera equipment, plane tickets and a typewriter. I also want on the less hipster-esque end of the scale to finally find somewhere to move to in Cardiff. A city where most hipsters and millennials who deny their love of that stuff can live peacefully in denial.
I’ve hit a few roadblocks to finding the right spot but I’m coming to the realisation that most of it comes down to me attempting to find the ‘perfect start’ which is impossible. It’s probably then going to come soon as I’ve accepted that and am more focused than ever on settling in, meeting my roommates (since I don’t want to live on my own at first) and meeting people now that I can.
What I really want for my birthday is to be doing the most I possibly can with the year ahead. As I’m technically writing this the day before my birthday (even though I’ll be posting it most likely on the day, for editing purposes) I can tell you that I’ve started writing and filming. However it’s being kept for after I’ve gotten lots of material, and am past a shadow-ban on TikTok that I’m pretty sure exists. I got contacted by my acting workshop to take part in more classes so I’m really looking forward to it and I’m reserving my spot in a rock climbing class, so I’m having my quarter life crisis and representing that by hanging by a literal thread.
In all honesty I am happy to be turning 26 and realising that what comes next will all be down to me just attempting things and seeing what sticks. I want that more than anything I could buy for my birthday; to break away from routine briefly at times to do the unexpected. To exercise at times the part of me that wants to experience more and be told more stories by the people I share those experiences with.
To end then I should probably go back to my conversation with my sister, who is equally if not more curious than I am about finding answers and creating questions. She has her usual questions sure, ‘How is your job?’, ‘Have you gone on any dates?’ which she asks often as to remind me that she has had more playground dates than I’ve had actual ones, and ‘Can you draw this?’, but she had that last question ‘What do you want for your birthday?’.
I said ‘I don’t know but I’ll figure something out’. She didn’t accept that answer but it was honestly what I wanted the most.
Oh and a tattoo, definitely getting one after my time off from work. I think it’s time even if it’s just a small doodle.
Dan Abides 